WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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