And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
