I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I am one with the molecules
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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