You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
