I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
