Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
