It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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