something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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