omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize