Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
