Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
