halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
