stop calling my apartment porn island.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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