Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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