Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
