Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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