Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
