Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
