does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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