Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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