i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.