And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sober January is a disaster.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.