Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.