SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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