i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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