Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He passed out mid-signature
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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