I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
