you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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