I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Two words: nipple clamps
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