If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
