why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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