I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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