I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
