If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
