i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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