How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
