dude i'm inner monologue high
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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