the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
