My first STD was from a foam party
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
zippers are such a cool invention
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
