I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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