I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Michael Bay diarrhea
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
