if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
