im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
