he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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