Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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