I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
