And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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