The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
