My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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