She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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