i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
