i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
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I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The air taste purple.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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