Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
BRING THE BAGELS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
