This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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