Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
