yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
